Depression

So I went to the Doctors and told them I was finding it harder to cope. I'm still on the extremely long waiting list for counselling, but that's not exactly comforting or helping with the whole feeling-shit thing.

The doctor I saw just gave me some antidepressants, said she'd call me in 2 weeks to see how they were working for me and sent me on my way. The drugs she gave me didn't have an information leaflet in them, so I had no idea about side-effects, other drugs they might interact with, when to take them or in fact anything useful at all.

Luckily Azariah takes the same tablets, and I was able to read his leaflet. He told me all about the side-effects he and other people he knew had had, including the fact that for the first two weeks they'll probably make me even more depressed.

Well that's certainly true. Since I started on them I haven't had a single day where I haven't wanted to curl up and cry at some point. Yesterday this lasted almost all day, so much so that I couldn't even leave the friend's house I was staying at to drive home, it was just too much to cope with. I left this morning and felt ok, but once I'd got home the feeling came back again. I managed to eat some food which seemed like a huuuge task, and am meant to be packing ready for the residential work I'm starting on Wednesday but just can't face it yet. I don't want to go, I just want to cry. If I'd known the tablets would do this to me I'd have waited until after the job finished in a couple of months and just stuck with the depression - I don't know if I'm going to be able to cope with the job while I'm feeling like this.