So, women had this whole 'sexual liberation' thing - we have shops like Ann Summers everywhere convincing us that sex is ok, that we're allowed to be horny, and even to pleasure ourselves. That masturbation is ok, & there are even toys to help us make it feel even better. Yes, a lot of it is packaged up in a "it's sexy for the men if you do it in front of them", and there's still a huge amount of pressure from society telling us completely the opposite - that it's wrong, shameful, that women aren't sexual creatures, that women don't feel horny but it's ok for men to be turned on, etc etc.
But for the most part, the idea that women can and do use sex toys is accepted in a fair amount of society, even if it's still not something that some people want to admit.
But for males? When you talk about men using sex toys, people tend to thing of them as weird, freaks, perverts, creepy, or desperate. You don't hear men talking about an amazing new sex toy they've found that they love, or even acknowledging the existence of masturbatory aids apart from their own hands. Guys in general don't discuss intimate details of their sex lives with their friends beyond a 'yeah, we had sex and it was hot' type conversation, and it's such a shame! Despite all of the ways society tries to control and repress women's sexuality, it's at least accepted that we talk about it, and discuss intimate details and share tips with each other - hell, there've been entire TV series' dedicated to just this premise!
There are so many negative ways that women's sexuality is controlled, but beyond the idea that men are permanently turned on sex-machines that would have sex with anything, to the point that they can't even control their own desires enough not to rape someone if they're attractive/wearing certain clothes etc, there is no discussion about men's sexuality. It's kept under wraps, as something that is so over-sexualised, but never mentioned as more than a fact that they're turned on all the time, or masturbate frequently.
I'd love men to start talking more openly about their sex lives - about what works for them and doesn't, about things they enjoy, about sex toys they like. I think it'd make people more aware that male sexuality isn't a 'one size fits all' thing - every one is different, everyone has different turn-ons. There's no Cosmo-type solution of 'how to turn your man on' or 'how to make him orgasm'. You need to discuss and find out how to help this particular man achieve orgasm, or to enjoy a sexual experience. What works for one person is completely different to what works for another.
I remember one of the first times I had my hands on a guy's cock. I'd read in Cosmo that a thing that all men liked was having their balls played with. So I moved my hands to his balls to play with them. He didn't tell me that that didn't work for him, or that he'd prefer me to touch him somewhere else, he just moved my hands. And being young and not realising that he hadn't liked it, I moved them back, thinking 'why would he move my hands away from there? Men like that!' Ok, so part of this was my youth and complete lack of reading this body language as a 'actually I don't want your hands there', but also the complete lack of communication, because 'men don't talk about sex'.
So guys, if you find something that seems 'abnormal' that turns you on, talk about it! Silence around sex can lead to all sorts of assumptions about what's 'normal', which are really unhelpful. I'm pretty sure you'll find that it's a lot more normal than you thought it was.
And hell, if you find a sex toy that just makes your toes curl and turns your legs to jelly when you use it, just use it! The idea that using it makes you creepy or desperate or perverted is outdated, and is only denying you pleasure!
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