So, Azariah and I went for a standard check-up at a GUM clinic the other day. We were both at the same clinic, at the same time, but had two very different experiences.
I saw a lovely female doctor, who was very approachable, easy to chat to, didn't bat an eyelid to the mention of non-heteronormative partners/sex acts, and explained very clearly what tests were going to be done, how they'd all work, and gave me the option of getting a Hep B vaccination. Then I had all of the oh-so-fun fun tests, which were made so much more easy and comfortable by the fact that the doctor and nurse were both friendly and chatty, talking to me in a completely normal, everyday way. Because looking after sexual health is a normal thing to do.
Azariah went in after me and saw a different doctor. She asked him about previous sexual partners and upon him mentioning that he'd been with man, she said "oh!" in a surprised voice. She also asked if he was "active or passive" - erm, what? Active or passive? I'm assuming she meant giving or receiving, because surely it'd be rather hard to be passive in a sex act... She then asked about other sexual partners, and he mentioned me as his long term partner. When he mentioned I was female, she raised her eyebrow rather judgingly and didn't seem to understand at first. She then said ok (again, in a very surprised way), and asked if I knew about his other encounters. Because obviously she needed to help Azariah in the way the communication in his relationship was run.
He was asked to take his trousers down, and was then left on the bed while she left the room for almost 5 minutes. The nurse had to come in and explain to him what the tests were, as he'd never had these done before and the doctor hadn't said anything. He wasn't offered the vaccine, he was just given it. It was assumed that because he'd been with a man he was obviously now high-risk.
I came out of the clinic really inspired by my doctor, really wanting to go into sexual health or education to help people, whereas Azariah came out feeling judged, sore from tests that didn't need to be painful (he said he felt the doctor was being punishing for having sex she didn't agree with) and not exactly keen to go again.
Also I was given an anonymous feedback sheet from my doctor to fill out about her professional conduct, how well things were explained to me, etc whereas Azariah was not.
I feel so angry that someone so judgemental and unhelpful could work in a sexual health clinic, somewhere where people of all ages might turn up feeling vulnerable, ashamed, scared, and a whole host of other emotions, and hope to be treated with respect by a professional. It's increased my desire to work in sex education in some way, to somehow try and increase the amount ofprofessional, approachable people they encounter, or at least send them to places like this with as much knowledge about what will happen as possible.
Thursday 28 February 2013
Heart attacks and equality
So, we've all seen films or film clips where a man gasps, clutches his left arm, and falls to the floor having a heart attack. I'd imagine none of you have seen this happen to a woman in a film.
How many people know the symptoms of heart attack in a female, or even know that they differ from those in males? Did you know that females generally don't get the pain down one arm or the sudden, excruciating pain on one side of the chest?
Everyone knows about those two male symptoms, and tends to consider them universal, because that's what people get taught as the 'heart attack symptoms', not the 'male heart attack symptoms'.
It's ridiculous that even in a medical /first aid setting, you can show a topless male to point to areas where symptoms occur and to demonstrate CPR, but a topless female? God no! Our eyes might implode, or we'll all be overcome by our libidos and unable to restrain ourselves, because female nudity is inherently sexual, right? FFS.
So many people I've talked to don't realise that there are different symptoms, and I can't recall a single time in my life where I've seen or heard this mentioned (aside from non-mainstream internet sites).
Surely it's time as a society to get rid of this ridiculous idea of nudity of any gender being sexual or erotic - it's just skin filled with muscle, fat, bone and blood. Sure, in a specific context it can be arousing, but just being shown a random unclothed body shouldn't be such a taboo.
Websites ban images of topless females, (but not of topless males, that's fine...) women aren't allowed to be topless in public in much of the world, (whereas men generally are - even in Britain, where there's no law against public nudity, there's a public decency law - it's hurtful that my body can be deemed 'indecent', just because of my genitalia) because apparently a woman's naked body is not only always sexual, but is also immodest, shameful, and should never be seen.
There are so many aspects to the equality battle that have yet to be won, and the sad truth that we will probably still not have gender equality by the time I leave this earth fills me with sadness, anger, and loss of hope in the human race. How do humans constantly mess such simple things up so badly? Our progress seems to constantly be two steps forwards and then one back.
How many people know the symptoms of heart attack in a female, or even know that they differ from those in males? Did you know that females generally don't get the pain down one arm or the sudden, excruciating pain on one side of the chest?
Everyone knows about those two male symptoms, and tends to consider them universal, because that's what people get taught as the 'heart attack symptoms', not the 'male heart attack symptoms'.
It's ridiculous that even in a medical /first aid setting, you can show a topless male to point to areas where symptoms occur and to demonstrate CPR, but a topless female? God no! Our eyes might implode, or we'll all be overcome by our libidos and unable to restrain ourselves, because female nudity is inherently sexual, right? FFS.
So many people I've talked to don't realise that there are different symptoms, and I can't recall a single time in my life where I've seen or heard this mentioned (aside from non-mainstream internet sites).
Surely it's time as a society to get rid of this ridiculous idea of nudity of any gender being sexual or erotic - it's just skin filled with muscle, fat, bone and blood. Sure, in a specific context it can be arousing, but just being shown a random unclothed body shouldn't be such a taboo.
Websites ban images of topless females, (but not of topless males, that's fine...) women aren't allowed to be topless in public in much of the world, (whereas men generally are - even in Britain, where there's no law against public nudity, there's a public decency law - it's hurtful that my body can be deemed 'indecent', just because of my genitalia) because apparently a woman's naked body is not only always sexual, but is also immodest, shameful, and should never be seen.
There are so many aspects to the equality battle that have yet to be won, and the sad truth that we will probably still not have gender equality by the time I leave this earth fills me with sadness, anger, and loss of hope in the human race. How do humans constantly mess such simple things up so badly? Our progress seems to constantly be two steps forwards and then one back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)