Spoons

My parents have asked me to take on a bit of work with their company as someone can no longer do it, and I've done it before. It's not a huge amount.

Today I drove home, which took an hour. Then I went out with my dad to do 1/3 of the work I'll be required to do so he could show me how their new system works. It didn't take long - maybe an hour tops.

I had some lunch at home, and then drove back here - another hour.

I stopped off at the supermarket and bought some food - possibly half an hour.

When I left home I was feeling exhausted and just wanted to cry and go to sleep. As I drove home I managed to distract myself and forget about my feelings. Now I've sat down and rested for a bit, I'm steadily getting lower in mood, energy and motivation. I barely did anything! I don't want to tell my parents that I can't do this work for them, but if I'm doing three times the amount, and on my own so it'll take maybe double the time, I really don't think I'm going to be able to do it. Or I will, but I won't be able to function at all the following day.

Whenever I see my parents it's on a relatively good day depression-wise, or I manage to hide it from them, so they have no idea how bad it is, and if I told them that I couldn't manage I don't think they'd understand. I think they might think I'm just making this up, or being lazy or something.

I can't even get up off the sofa right now. I'm freezing - I could go upstairs and get a jumper, or go to the kitchen and make a cup of tea, but I just can't. I have absolutely no more spoons. Not even to reach over to the other side of the sofa and pull the blanket over me. Moving my hands to type on my laptop is about the extent of what I can do right now, but I just can't tell my parents that I get like this.